Exhibit A.
Here is a session where I tried to play beyond my optimal state. I was tired, it was late, and still I wanted to press on. This should've been a good session, but the lack of discipline and honesty to myself got me in the end. You can see distinctly where optimal playing stopped. Now this is the problem that I've tried to address. My Poker Is My Business, and as any business owner would, I would like to keep my business functioning optimally. Also, you should not dwell on the "should've been" (like this session should've been a big winning session). That would just cause unnecessary stress, and stress leads to suboptimal performance.
Exhibit B.
Here is a fine example of a session where I was constantly asking myself if I am still ok. I was asking myself if I wanted to quit, and why. Am I being outdrawn or was I playing poorly? A took a quick break, and I started fresh, and it all went up from there. My Poker is my business, and as any business owner should be, I have to be honest about the results of my business decisions, and should honestly discern whether the loss was circumstantial or if it was because of poor business decisions. This is tricky especially when losing. I've previously stuck to a stop loss, and I never evaluated my state of performance when I reach the amount, I just instantly shut everything down. Though some people might find this as a good thing, it gave me some sort of negative momentum, and I keep logging losses. I guess in a way I was being results oriented, that losing that much instantly meant I am not playing well.
What I've learned from the two mindset books is that it is all in the state of mind which influences the state of play. I was too negative in my thinking that my graph kept plummeting, and it took a major breather and a total change in mindset to stop the crash of my graph. It also reinforced the idea that poker is all about making the right decision. If you play for any other reason, you're not playing optimally. I remember a good chunk of my APA training that I was focused on making the quota of the number of hands. I was not so versed with multitabling yet at the time. (I used to multitable before APA, but it seems I was not focusing enough on my decisions, so I redid my thought process hence removing multitabling powers). This lead to a lot of suboptimal sessions focusing on the number of hands - and I ended up not reaching the quota anyway due to stop losses. DOUBLE TILT! Now I know better, and hopefully I keep up a positive and professional mindset.
Fact of the matter is, I'm just a kid trying to play a game for a living. Who knew this requires a great deal of maturity and professionalism? To be successful at this, you have to eliminate the holywood image of professional poker as all fun with no responsibilities and worries. Truth is, this career has a much heavier responsibility - you are accountable to yourself for everything. It all boils down to being MATURE and PROFESSIONAL about this choice of career. True, it's nice to be your own boss, but in this business your boss should be the smart, skillful and stern. If his employee doesn't work, both of them won't earn. (Yes, Im talking about a single person, just in case you got confused - I was.)
Now, like any business, there should be set goals of periods of time. I'm about done with my other business engagements and my personal stuff will always be there, so no need to overly worry about them now. I hope to reenter the scene with a bang, so I'm going to set goals for my return. That's for the next entry.
