Sooo Siiick!

I get sick from time to time. It usually follows a bout of insomnia. This recent sickness though was something for the books. The whole right side of my face was swollen.


Yep, that's right.It started with just 2 welts that look like innocent insect bites, on on the tip of my right brow and one smack dab on my cheekbone. Then a day later I get a fit of dry cough and fever. Then the day after that, my face swells up. I've had some allergy attacks, but never like this, and never with fever. I took benadryl and was practically knocked out for a day or two. My fever's better now and the swelling has subsided, though the area under my eye is still swelling a little.


Well, the good thing about getting sick (yes I'm trying to put a positive spin on this) is that it keeps me from the tables. Funny thing about tilt, or at least when I tilt, is that I want to keep playing. It's like if I play another session, I would realize that all the bad sessions were just a dream. Now we all know that's not the case. So yeah in a way I'm thankful I had one of the worst allergy attacks I've had ever. Also, benadryl is awesome for insomnia.

So now I'm on my way to Baguio. Hopefully the cool air of my hometown will help clear my head  All you people on your breaks, enjoy yourselves.

In Due Time

It's official, I'm on tilt.

And it's mostly not even about poker. Life variance I'd like to call it. And no, nothing really serious like injury or death or disaster or whatnot, just a bunch of irritations that pile up and ultimately mess with my head.

I'm still in this breakeven funk with a losing bias. It's starting to get to me. It's irritating to lose the progress you've worked for, and it's doubly irritating that the irritation you're experiencing is affecting your progress. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm going to prioritize playing online. Been focusing on live more these past few, and it's messing with my online game. Gonna work on my online game again and as coach said translate it to my live game, not the other way around.


I'm gonna grind away online, and I hope in due time things turn positive.

I still don't know why I'm on edge. I know I'm busy and I have lots of things to do, but I feel like there's something I haven't quite checked. Maybe that's the poker part. Hmmm, most likely the poker part.

It is Finished

The funny thing about December is that it's the month where things end and other things are about to begin.

I've recently graduated from the APA VIP Training Program! Handshakes for everyone! I was especially anxious about the final requirements - I didn't want to look like a moron after going through the training. So much for that, I absolutely did look like a moron. It's kinda tilting to be unsure about things, and it's even more tilting when you're sure you messed up. Well, there's no point crying over spilled milk - especially when apparently you've done a good enough job cleaning it up. I'm proud to say I've learned a lot from the program and that it has changed my view of the game. So that's that. WOOHOO!

I'd like to thank my coaches RON and RAMIL for having the patience and generosity to teach us and help us. Also I'd like to thank my classmates Albert and Johann, it was a blast learning with you and from you. Ok, enough of this, I'm starting to sound like a beauty pageant contestant.

I'm in the process of moving out of my place into the new place we got. Finally got the permit to move, yeah, this story is so tilting I don't even want to share it. I've moved some stuff already, though it's mostly the non-essential stuff. My friend RJ's gonna handle things from now on, so I won't have to sue/murder people.

I've been busy these past few days. I've been traveling a lot handling some business crap I have to do. Don't get me wrong, I like handling my ventures, I just don't like the feeling of being busy. Maybe that's why I love poker. I'll be back in town later, hopefully to catch some of the tournament action at the Metro or get some action from the early bustouts at Midas.

I'm trying not to grind online while I'm fixing business stuff. Playing with have an unfocused brain will surely cost me money. But from the recent short sessions I had in between work I find I'm building an upward momentum again. Been minding my plays and my opponents more and it seems to be paying off.

This blog's turning more and more into a life blog than just a poker blog. I've been thinking of making other blogs for my non-poker writing, but then who'll read them? Do I want to write for writing's sake or do I want to write for an audience? Maybe the RSS feed can be based on entry tags, so for example only my poker tagged entries will be broadcast in pokermanila's blogroll. I'll look into that. Thinking about making other blogs makes me not want to do it.

Focal Points

So yeah, still on the topic of focus.

First off, I don't think having a hand quota per session suits me. It just doesn't work for me. It didn't work a few months ago, and it doesn't work now. I don't really know why I tried to do it again. So now I'm gonna measure them by length in time. I've decided to keep my sessions (absurdly) short - like an hour to an hour thirty, but mostly leaning towards one hour. Based on my weeklong study of my online grind, symptoms of distraction/tilt usually come up around the 1:30 mark of a grind, and my performance peaks towards the 2/3 mark of the session, so that makes 1 hour to an hour 30 my ideal length of session. I just have to add more sessions per day to make a decent amount of hands per week.

Also, I think I need to add more tables. My original plan was to reduce tables to better adjust to the game at my current limit, but all it did was make me too involved in hands. And I mean too involved in 2 ways:  I enter a bit more pots than I should and the outcome of the hands affect me more as I can totally see what's happening in all my tables. I'm only currently 4 tabling max, so for this week I'm gonna add 1 or 2 until I feel like I'm not too concerned about any one hand at a time. Hope this works. If you have some advice, drop a comment below.

I'm currently studying the intricacies of CBetting and Double Barreling. I feel (know) that I'm CBetting too often, and I find there are times when I find reasons to stop barreling when I should've barreled and vice versa. But still, I know cbetting too much is exploitable, and I've already felt some regs try this - not to mention I've been doing this to robo-regs as well. And my double barreling needs some work too - something I'm doing just doesn't feel right. I should focus on fixing this part of my game, because if I feel like I'm having trouble now then for sure I'm gonna have trouble in the higher limits. If you have some good resources, drop a comment below.

Anyway, I'm just starting to bounce back from a losing streak. I came close to a 10BI crash, but I'm now managing to pull the throttle up and gain some altitude back. It's interesting to know that I'll be having a new neighbor in the stakes I'm playing (yes that's you Francis). The 2nd batch guys are catching up, but it's more like I'm slowing down. I haven't been playing as much as I should - they're playing 3 times as many hands as me and are working 3 times as hard - at least. I'm still working on my focus, but it's getting there don't worry.  It's nice to see people's hard work paying off, it inspires me to work harder and focus more (at least in theory). And now I get to have someone to have some serious discussions with about strategy in the stakes I'm playing.

It's a long way from NL30 to NL50, so I better get my focus on! My hands played for last month was a joke, Daredevil (Rene) can most likely do it in a session or two. This month isn't looking good either volume-wise, too many other things competing for my attention. I'll be coming back from Pampanga later today I hope, then off to the grind once more.

Oh, one more thing, I'm feeling good about the upcoming 5M Metro Christmas Tournament. Will be trying out some satellites this week, but if those don't pan out it only means the universe wants me to be staked.

Focus Damn You!

Have you watched the WSOP 2010 final table? I didn't expect it to feel like a boxing match, with the players entering one at a time accompanied by girls carrying cards showing their seat number.Aand Bruce Buffer announcing "It's TIIIIMMEE!" followed by "Shuffle Up and Deal" didn't help. Lol. Well, now that I got that out of the way, onto the main topic.

I haven't been playing a lot online recently. And it doesn't help that when I do, I drop huge sums. Maybe I shouldn't force it, or maybe I should keep on diving in and let my "EV" kick in (if it were positive to start with). One thing's for sure, I need structure. And Focus.

I'm involved with a lot of things and my focus is really scrambled. There's poker then there's online poker then there's my other ventures then there's looking for a place. I hope when I settle in the new place I can also settle into a new rhythm. I won't be playing online for the rest of the month, or until I settle all these settling business.

With the live grind deal about to be in full swing, I have decided not to touch my income from other assets and live solely from poker. Why? So I'll be pot-committed, so to speak. I have the this theory that in doing this will force me to play like I mean it - to play like my life depended on it, because to a degree it will.

The first problem I see is I'll be having a harder time switching between online and live. Right now I don't even know which one's going to be my bread and butter, but I know it can be done either way. The way I see it is I will get my rent money from rakeback, and employ some sort of bankroll management with a reward system, similar to this:

I like this system because it adds motivation, and that'll surely help me increase my volume. I might need some input making a system that suits my needs.


I had some conversations with some peers and they all pointed out the same thing. I seem to be everywhere at once. I'm always involved in more than one project. I handle multiple ventures at a time. I can't seem to devote my whole attention to just one thing, and that could prove fatal.

So I asked around and browsed around for some advice to improve focus and concentration, and the recurring them is that I need a routine or a ritual. When I first saw the word ritual I immediately thought animal sacrifices and I thought I wouldn't mind slitting a goat's throat every week if it means improving my focus. If only it were that easy. It was a common advice to do something that will ease you into the mindset of doing the task you have to do. Something like warming up and shadow-boxing before entering the ring to fight.

So I plan on making it my pre-grinding ritual to read at least one COTW of 2p2 or one poker concept article before I grind. I don't know if this will be enough of a warm up, maybe I should add something else. But for now I guess that'll do. I'll let you know how it works out. Wish me luck.

Healthy Body = Healthy Soul = Healthy Mind

My girlfriend reminded me to stay away from caffeine, not just for my sleep but also for my playing. So yeah, maybe I have to let go of caffeine again, even tea. Caffeine may wake me up temporarily, but I think it makes me lose focus, or at least maybe it's the crash after. It also makes me agitated, animated and talkative and overall uncomfortable. I think I'm better off without it, I'll just order hot water when I'm playing. Or bring my own herbal tea.

Which reminds me, I think when I'm playing live I play too long. But it's not like online where you can close tables in a click and browse the internet or whatnot, there's a lack of things to do in between sessions. I wonder how I'll keep optimum focus on the tables. Do I divide my sessions into two sittings as opposed to a long one? Do I take longer breaks as opposed to the quick trip to the bathroom? If I were a smoker this would be much easier, but that's out of the question.

I've been getting a lot of healthy body = healthy soul = healthy mind reminders lately. I suppose I should be setting some goals on improving my overall well being. I've lost a considerable amount of weight, and I've stopped working out and training months ago. I have this elbow injury that I haven't consulted the doctor about, so I have to do that first before I start working out/training again. I aim to hit 140lbs gaining muscle weight, with or without the aid of supplements. No steroids please. Hmmm, maybe I should aim to do 200 pushups and situps again just to get me close to the same shape I was before. That or I find a boxing gym/muay thai/mma gym somewhere and start training again.

Also, I don't remember the last time I went out on a Saturday night and grabbed a drink or two.I don't even remember the last time I saw my close friends. We're in a time in our lives where we each have our own shtick, and schedules don't really cooperate. And I sure as hell can't remember the last time I went to the beach or even saw the sea (seeing it from Marcos Highway in Baguio does not count). I want to go to Anawangin Cove in Zambales because it's not commercialized. Camp out under the trees, swim in the beach, trek up the hills, no hotels, no cellphones, just nature at it's finest. Yeah that would be awesome.

So cliffs. No more caffeine, consult a doctor, find a place to work out/train, work out/train, go out more, go to the beach before the year ends.

Moving!

I'm in a sweet live grind deal under APA. I dunno if I can disclose the details, but I can surely say this is a great starter pack for aspiring poker pros. They really do know how to take care of their "kids". I'm still deciding/feeling out how often and how long I can play but I've already let them know of my tentative schedule.

I need to find a place around ortigas area so that I won't have to travel far to grind. My current rent is dirt cheap but the commute will surely cost me so might as well add my transportation budget to my rent budget and find a place near my grind.

I'm looking for a studio apartment/room for 5k/month or a house/condo that I can split with a few friends I've talked to (I'd prefer to keep it 3 max including me). I'd I know renting a house/condo can be more expensive than renting a room somewhere but the amenities might just make up for the extra expense. My budget is based on my computation of my current rent plus the approximate commute expense I'd be incurring if I choose not to move.