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When You Grind For a Living, Life Tends to Grind You Back

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Focus Damn You!

Have you watched the WSOP 2010 final table? I didn't expect it to feel like a boxing match, with the players entering one at a time accompanied by girls carrying cards showing their seat number.Aand Bruce Buffer announcing "It's TIIIIMMEE!" followed by "Shuffle Up and Deal" didn't help. Lol. Well, now that I got that out of the way, onto the main topic.

I haven't been playing a lot online recently. And it doesn't help that when I do, I drop huge sums. Maybe I shouldn't force it, or maybe I should keep on diving in and let my "EV" kick in (if it were positive to start with). One thing's for sure, I need structure. And Focus.

I'm involved with a lot of things and my focus is really scrambled. There's poker then there's online poker then there's my other ventures then there's looking for a place. I hope when I settle in the new place I can also settle into a new rhythm. I won't be playing online for the rest of the month, or until I settle all these settling business.

With the live grind deal about to be in full swing, I have decided not to touch my income from other assets and live solely from poker. Why? So I'll be pot-committed, so to speak. I have the this theory that in doing this will force me to play like I mean it - to play like my life depended on it, because to a degree it will.

The first problem I see is I'll be having a harder time switching between online and live. Right now I don't even know which one's going to be my bread and butter, but I know it can be done either way. The way I see it is I will get my rent money from rakeback, and employ some sort of bankroll management with a reward system, similar to this:


I like this system because it adds motivation, and that'll surely help me increase my volume. I might need some input making a system that suits my needs.


I had some conversations with some peers and they all pointed out the same thing. I seem to be everywhere at once. I'm always involved in more than one project. I handle multiple ventures at a time. I can't seem to devote my whole attention to just one thing, and that could prove fatal.

So I asked around and browsed around for some advice to improve focus and concentration, and the recurring them is that I need a routine or a ritual. When I first saw the word ritual I immediately thought animal sacrifices and I thought I wouldn't mind slitting a goat's throat every week if it means improving my focus. If only it were that easy. It was a common advice to do something that will ease you into the mindset of doing the task you have to do. Something like warming up and shadow-boxing before entering the ring to fight.

So I plan on making it my pre-grinding ritual to read at least one COTW of 2p2 or one poker concept article before I grind. I don't know if this will be enough of a warm up, maybe I should add something else. But for now I guess that'll do. I'll let you know how it works out. Wish me luck.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Healthy Body = Healthy Soul = Healthy Mind

My girlfriend reminded me to stay away from caffeine, not just for my sleep but also for my playing. So yeah, maybe I have to let go of caffeine again, even tea. Caffeine may wake me up temporarily, but I think it makes me lose focus, or at least maybe it's the crash after. It also makes me agitated, animated and talkative and overall uncomfortable. I think I'm better off without it, I'll just order hot water when I'm playing. Or bring my own herbal tea.

Which reminds me, I think when I'm playing live I play too long. But it's not like online where you can close tables in a click and browse the internet or whatnot, there's a lack of things to do in between sessions. I wonder how I'll keep optimum focus on the tables. Do I divide my sessions into two sittings as opposed to a long one? Do I take longer breaks as opposed to the quick trip to the bathroom? If I were a smoker this would be much easier, but that's out of the question.

I've been getting a lot of healthy body = healthy soul = healthy mind reminders lately. I suppose I should be setting some goals on improving my overall well being. I've lost a considerable amount of weight, and I've stopped working out and training months ago. I have this elbow injury that I haven't consulted the doctor about, so I have to do that first before I start working out/training again. I aim to hit 140lbs gaining muscle weight, with or without the aid of supplements. No steroids please. Hmmm, maybe I should aim to do 200 pushups and situps again just to get me close to the same shape I was before. That or I find a boxing gym/muay thai/mma gym somewhere and start training again.

Also, I don't remember the last time I went out on a Saturday night and grabbed a drink or two.I don't even remember the last time I saw my close friends. We're in a time in our lives where we each have our own shtick, and schedules don't really cooperate. And I sure as hell can't remember the last time I went to the beach or even saw the sea (seeing it from Marcos Highway in Baguio does not count). I want to go to Anawangin Cove in Zambales because it's not commercialized. Camp out under the trees, swim in the beach, trek up the hills, no hotels, no cellphones, just nature at it's finest. Yeah that would be awesome.

So cliffs. No more caffeine, consult a doctor, find a place to work out/train, work out/train, go out more, go to the beach before the year ends.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Moving!

I'm in a sweet live grind deal under APA. I dunno if I can disclose the details, but I can surely say this is a great starter pack for aspiring poker pros. They really do know how to take care of their "kids". I'm still deciding/feeling out how often and how long I can play but I've already let them know of my tentative schedule.

I need to find a place around ortigas area so that I won't have to travel far to grind. My current rent is dirt cheap but the commute will surely cost me so might as well add my transportation budget to my rent budget and find a place near my grind.

I'm looking for a studio apartment/room for 5k/month or a house/condo that I can split with a few friends I've talked to (I'd prefer to keep it 3 max including me). I'd I know renting a house/condo can be more expensive than renting a room somewhere but the amenities might just make up for the extra expense. My budget is based on my computation of my current rent plus the approximate commute expense I'd be incurring if I choose not to move.

Self Improvement

Another Month Another Level Another Challenge!

November is looking good so far. I've been doing ok online and I've moved up another stake. The games are considerably tougher though and it looks a little bit like reg-town so I gotta step up my game and get rid of those bad habits. It's harder to push players around and it doesn't pay to play chill and slightly passive anymore. HUD use would be essential, and studying the intricacies of the game will feel necessary and compulsory real soon.

So first stop we have to set some new playing goals. As you can see on the widget on the right I've changed some of my target stats (thanks coach Ron). I guess the extra PFR will come from squeezing, employing blind gambits (squeezing limpers, picked up this term from 2p2) and restealing. Maybe I can 3bet lighter in general but that needs some study and some decent hands sample size from my opponents. Turn AF will probably take care of itself as I don't plan to be on the calling end as often as in the micros. And that W$WSF would probably be easier in this stake since there'll be less limp pots or multiway raised pots. I've also bookmarked a list of poker readings that can help me move up easily. I guess one reading a day will do me loads of good.

I've been playing to "not lose" as opposed to playing to win or making the right decisions some weeks ago, but I don't feel it as strongly now. I have a long blog entry draft on the subject but I decided not to publish it since I felt it's only a phase. The next time I feel it I guess I'll have to go back to that draft and see what I did to overcome it or what triggers it in the first place. I've decided to put a mantra widget on the bottom of every post to remind me how I should be playing. For now I'll borrow coach's article on the proper mindset until I need to remind myself about other things.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Win, I Lose, I Learn

Well, this month has been interesting to say the least.

I won the TPC Rock the Dream event at Midas Touch, the price being an APT Macau package. Still not thinking about this, as I have people behind me. It was nice to win one. I sincerely believe that the winner take all format helped my game. I keep telling my tablemates that there will be no regrets to what I do, since there's no bubble. Hmmm, that's it, I guess there's not much to talk about. Thank you Jester Intia and Ron Regis of APA.

Next tournament, the Actors' Guild Charity 2M event. Busted out on level 2, the quintessential setup KK vs. AA. The said holder of AA eventually won the whole thing (congrats reggie_g) so I guess it's meant to be. To be honest, this was the tournament I really wanted to win. I told coach about it and he said maybe my different mindsets in the different tournaments really change my game. In the TPC i was playing to win it. I couldn't say I did not do the same at the 2M tournament, it was merely a bad run of cards. But I will remember to always play to win it. No regrets.

For my online grind, I was running so bad my EV line and my green line are making a wide angle. Despite this string of bad luck, I managed to grind away and recoup some (part, most, a little bit, im not sure. I think half and some) of my losses.

Been playing a lot of live cash games lately. It's nice to play live after weeks of online. It reminds you that people are interesting, and that you can still be surprised by the world (in the form of a tagalog speaking korean). Poker-wise, I get to observe my game under a microscope and see what I lack (which is aggression for the most part, and the lack of gall to pull triggers on obvious signs of weakness. This I got to apply online, which was soo fun. I've never 3betted and squeezed so much before hahaha. I hope i can do the same live.

I realize that it's not even the end of the month yet, so no closing remarks as of yet. Sorry if this entry is poorly constructed, I dont usually take caffeine so i'm on overdrive. At least I still use spacing and punctuation. Til next time.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Good Everything Bad Everything

Running incredibly under EV. The fishes I was fishing dragged me under the water, outdrawing me every time. at any rate, I wanted them in there so there. Time to swim back up and start fishing again soon.

Still on my vampire sleeping arrangement, sleeping at 12noon and waking up at 8pm. It's like I live in another timezone. Good thing there are lots of 24hour food places here. Sigh, I dont like the feeling of going to bed after a bad session but what can you do.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Poker IS My Business

I'm fresh from a business trip of sorts, coupled with some personal stuff. I've read and reread The Poker Mindset and Treat Your Poker Like a Business, and it has helped me a lot with my playing mindset (not to mention I felt really guilty not playing as much because I'm busy with other stuff). In the small grind sessions that I've had, I got some pretty good results. Having a positive and professional mindset when playing really helps your game.

Exhibit A.


Here is a session where I tried to play beyond my optimal state. I was tired, it was late, and still I wanted to press on. This should've been a good session, but the lack of discipline and honesty to myself got me in the end. You can see distinctly where optimal playing stopped. Now this is the problem that I've tried to address. My Poker Is My Business, and as any business owner would, I would like to keep my business functioning optimally. Also, you should not dwell on the "should've been" (like this session should've been a big winning session). That would just cause unnecessary stress, and stress leads to suboptimal performance.

Exhibit B.


Here is a fine example of a session where I was constantly asking myself if I am still ok. I was asking myself if I wanted to quit, and why. Am I being outdrawn or was I playing poorly? A took a quick break, and I started fresh, and it all went up from there. My Poker is my business, and as any business owner should be, I have to be honest about the results of my business decisions, and should honestly discern whether the loss was circumstantial or if it was because of poor business decisions. This is tricky especially when losing. I've previously stuck to a stop loss, and I never evaluated my state of performance when I reach the amount, I just instantly shut everything down. Though some people might find this as a good thing, it gave me some sort of negative momentum, and I keep logging losses. I guess in a way I was being results oriented, that losing that much instantly meant I am not playing well.

What I've learned from the two mindset books is that it is all in the state of mind which influences the state of play. I was too negative in my thinking that my graph kept plummeting, and it took a major breather and a total change in mindset to stop the crash of my graph. It also reinforced the idea that poker is all about making the right decision. If you play for any other reason, you're not playing optimally. I remember a good chunk of my APA training that I was focused on making the quota of the number of hands. I was not so versed with multitabling yet at the time. (I used to multitable before APA, but it seems I was not focusing enough on my decisions, so I redid my thought process hence removing multitabling powers). This lead to a lot of suboptimal sessions focusing on the number of hands - and I ended up not reaching the quota anyway due to stop losses. DOUBLE TILT! Now I know better, and hopefully I keep up a positive and professional mindset.


Fact of the matter is, I'm just a kid trying to play a game for a living. Who knew this requires a great deal of maturity and professionalism? To be successful at this, you have to eliminate the holywood image of professional poker as all fun with no responsibilities and worries. Truth is, this career has a much heavier responsibility - you are accountable to yourself for everything. It all boils down to being MATURE and PROFESSIONAL about this choice of career. True, it's nice to be your own boss, but in this business your boss should be the smart, skillful and stern. If his employee doesn't work, both of them won't earn. (Yes, Im talking about a single person, just in case you got confused - I was.)

Now, like any business, there should be set goals of periods of time. I'm about done with my other business engagements and my personal stuff will always be there, so no need to overly worry about them now. I hope to reenter the scene with a  bang, so I'm going to set goals for my return. That's for the next entry.

The Poker Mindset

POKER is NOT about making money.

Yes, we measure ourselves by that bottom line, BUT Poker is all about making the right decisions - the best possible decision with regards to that bottom line. It's about making a decision with the best long-term outcome. It's about making this decision EVERY TIME, at EVERY MOMENT, and at EVERY CROSSROAD.

The money we make is just the result that REWARDS the decisions we make.

We are not here "to make money" - if you play that way, you will inevitably make the wrong decisions...even when you do get lucky.

DO THE RIGHT THING. Drop your ego and fold to the outrageous bluff-raise. Make that positive EV call even if it means you could get stacked. Use your best judgment with the available information every time.

Do the right thing, and the rewards will follow.

This is how we play. This is how we live.